A series of strange events mark the life of Dr. Charlemagne Magnanimus. He was born into the world in the seedy streets of the Akiba district, from the apparent pairing of a ronery cafe maid and shameless McDonald’s gaijin spokesman Mr. James. The child was subsequently abandoned and forgotten in a bookstore when a forceful earthquake buried him neck-deep in fan doujin. After quickly adjusting to the hard knock life of orphanhood, he educated himself on a multitude of subjects from scanning all the geek literature and media he could find. Always a bright prodigy, the young Dr. Magnanimus easily passed all the requirements necessary to get online degrees in physics, nuclear science and genetic engineering. He was quickly noticed by the brilliant technician and hopeless romantic Dr. Hal Emmerich (Otacon) and came to work under him as a competent lab assistant. Pretty soon their uber-manly relationship turned sour when a fight broke out over the finer points of mo-e culture. Dr. Magnanimus was insistant that the tsundere personality was far superior to yandere, and furthermore that their standard issue vision protection equipment were ineffectual. Otacon went into a rage and falcon-punched his coworker in the spleen, rupturing it. Not one to let this indignation go unnoticed, Dr. Magnanimus quit immediately, but not before telling his former mentor “you just lost the game.”
Reeling in pain but still holding on for dear life, the doctor stole away on an airline for Canada where he hoped to exploit the free health care system for a new spleen. However, he was denied coverage for having a “pre-existing condition”. In an act of pure desperation, the mad doctor set us up the bombs throughout the hospital compound. He then held the head spleen surgeon hostage with his devastating black hole gun, an abomination of science crafted from the cursed hardware of discarded red-ringed XBOXes. In the middle of the standoff, covert members of Anime Secrets rushed in to negotiate, and managed to talk Dr. Magnanimus into ending the seige and to join their organization. The doctor paused…then asked “will I get a new spleen?” The answer? Yes. This proceeded to the next logical question: “can I get my own pet liger that fires lasers from his mouth?” The answer? Hell yes! And thus the mad doctor began his employment at Anime Secrets. When he isn’t busy designing the next practical, green-friendly doomsday device, he still finds time to write reviews for anime of diverse genres, JRPGs and classic gaming from times long past.
|Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King|
|Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete|
|Oreimo Season 2: First Impressions|