Streaming Allegiance: Crunchyroll
Reconnaissance Report by: Drake
Progress: Episode 1


sparrows hotel promoOk, in my time I have always welcomed challenges from my colleagues, friends, and fans to watch what in their mind is the worst anime of all time. Over the years, I have subjected myself to watching Akikan!, Futari Ecchi, and Lingerie Soldier Papillion Rose. However, I think I can safely say I found the worst anime to end all worst anime. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: Sparrow’s Hotel.

Now, naturally, you will ask me “Drake, what on earth could make this anime so horribly bad?” Well, let’s start at the top. First, the animation was just plain awful. Its only possible mark of quality was that it was in color. The movement was terribly awkward and the character designs did not fit the environment. The musical opening was also pretty unmemorable and did nothing to even remotely explain the anime.

Once I regained my composure from the animation and accepted it, the plot – if we can even call this a plot – kicked in. The story centers around a new front desk worker at the Sparrow’s Hotel named Sayuri Satou. Immediately, we are thrown into the rush of a night at the Sparrow’s Hotel, with Sayuri running around helping guests to their rooms, quelling drunken hotel guests, and beating the crap out of some rowdy guests. May I point out, each of these actions occurred in about ten seconds or less. There was literally no time to even try and figure out what was going on. In all honesty, this anime felt like an excuse to have a rather well-endowed girl run around in a hotel clerk outfit using ninja tricks to solve the many issues plaguing the hotel, while shoving her big boobs in our faces.

Doesn’t sound too bad so far? Well, this all happened at warp speed, leaving me with a very bad case of whiplash and wondering ‘what the hell?’ At this point in time, I am very very tempted to award this anime the first 0/10 awarded in Anime Secrets’ history; however there is one singular redeeming point in this cluster of ‘WTF’… the episode was only three minutes long.

I will attempt to keep following this anime, for the benefit of our readers, but I make no promises. Now if you would excuse me, I need to go wash out this horrible taste of wasabi-times-ten with a good anime. Drake out.

Score: 1/10