Kiddy Grade

Also Known As: KG
Genre: Action/Drama
Format: 24 Episodes
Allegiance: GONZO
Director: Gotoh Keiji
Vintage: 2002-2003
Intelligence Agency Report by: Niner
The Galactic Organization of Trade and Tariffs (GOTT) was created in order to maintain peace and order in the Galactic Union through its team of ES agents. Éclair and Lumiere are members of this specially-powered ES squad, charged with resolving disputes and other various peacekeeping duties. They’re quite good at their jobs, but nothing can prepare them for when the world seems to turn on them from the inside out…

Field Agent Report by: Niner
Overall 3.25
(not an average)

Hirano Aya is fairly well-known in the anime community as the seiyuu behind the title character of the popular Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. But before she started up the SOS Brigade as Haruhi, she helped save the world as Lumiere of the GOTT in Kiddy Grade. Unfortunately, it’s a role she would most likely prefer not to be known for, as Kiddy Grade is pretty awful.

Let’s start with what this series managed to do halfway decently. The music isn’t that bad, being standard action anime fare for the most part; nothing to write home about. However, the ED theme, “Future” byLittle Viking, is actually a really good song, to the point where I often wished the episode I was watching would end already so it would play as the credits rolled. Of course, this also had to do with the lackluster quality of the show itself, but more on that in a little bit. The animation is of good quality for its time, which is to be expected from GONZO. Éclair and Lumiere are bouncily and vivaciously brought to life, as are most of the secondary characters, with pretty girls and handsome bishounen present to appeal to all tastes. Regrettably, this is where the good points end, as no amount of pulchritude or bishie sparkles is enough to save Kiddy Grade from crashing and burning.

First off, the plot is so convoluted you might need a degree in quantum mechanics to even begin to make heads or tails of it. It starts out fairly mundane with Éclair and Lumiere handling episodic cases, but it soon builds up into a giant mess. At around the halfway point, things have been turned upside down and you’re not sure what’s going on or who’s who anymore. The antagonists, Alv and Dvergr, are supposed to have some hidden secret that is key to the storyline, but by the time they reveal it, the plot has already gone though so many loops and twists that it ends up being quite pointless to try and keep it all straight. Not that that really matters much, as the characters are really very bland. Éclair and Lumiere are given some character development, but even that is shoddily executed and mortally confusing. The secondary characters are extraneous and forgettable. When all is said and done, everything is just one big muddled and wholly undecipherable garbage heap, leaving you to lament those lost hours of your life.

Kiddy Grade is like receiving dung as a gift. Sure, the wrapping may be all pretty, but once you get down to it, it’s still dung. It’s dung that someone may have attempted to form into something artistic and coherent, but dung nonetheless. Do yourself a favor and pooper-scooper this sorry excuse for an anime into the trash bin.